Ever wondered what life would be like if we were the dominant sexual orientation, not straights? Welcome to Earth Q, an alternate Earth to our own…

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Selenegrad Log: Commander Alicia Megaerastides, Verda 42, 513 Anno Matria:

I was nauseated to see that excesence on the wall, and it didn’t take much searching on the camcord to see who was responsible. Sarjeant Maria Vasceles, as I thought. Right, she’s pulled her last Ortho stunt on this watch. I’m putting her in for a transfer.

I took it down, of course. Hey, I’m no bigot, even if the insubordinate little holyjane will probably call me all the schismatic-Izzie-liberal-powertrippers under the sun. Tough. She was warned before about what would happen if she persisted in her antihet hate proapaganda, and she’s crossed the line. As long as I am commander of this station, I will protect all of its minorities- Marians, heterosexuals, multiple-personalities, whoever. We are all equal under the Terran Federation Charter, and it’s time little Mz Ephesian Diana Almighty realised that.

Sorry. For the sake of historical records, here’s some context for you.

It’s been about five hundred and ten years since Cristoforo Columbi brought the Syphoplague back from the Isles Columbinas, the so-called New World. It proved to be almost as deadly as the Black Death in the Kristo fourteenth century had been, and provoked some notable upheavals. One of them was the Kristo-Wikka Wars of Religion in the sixteenth/second centuries, which led to the emergence of the Old Craft Religions as triumphant, leading to the eclipse of Kristism. Shortly after, it transmuted into Marianism, and the role of the demigod offspring was rendered into a vestige. Don’t ask me why, but far more women survived the Sypho than men did.

As a consequence, for the last five centuries, the world has been a very cautious place.  It’s meant that population growth has been carefully limited through the dominance of samesexers as the dominant caste of sexual orientation, with all sorts of anathema cast against heterosexuals or straights (I refuse to use the insulting term ratbreeders).  In the fourth century, until about 320 A.M, they were burnt at the stake still. Fortunately, not long after, Jemima Bentham published the first philosophical argument for toleration of heterosexuals, arguing that the old taboos no longer held in modern industrialising civilisations like Britannia and the rest of Europa. As a result of Bentham’s interventions, the death sentence was commuted to life imprisonment, or transport to the prison continent of Australasia, our beloved near-neighbour.

And fortunately, too, the growth of scientific rationalism did in the old days of Orthodox Dianic control over word, image and law. I’m not a total secular rationalist, like many on the station, but Reformed Isidianism holds that the world we see around us is the result of rules established by the Goddess of Wisdom, who then sat back to let her children gain autonomy, tolerance and dialogue with one another and live in peace. And so it would have stayed. In 477 AM, Britannia decriminalised heterosexuality, albeit with ridiculous restrictions, which were happily overturned in the early sixth century, our rapturous postmodern world.

Save one backwater of reaction. Ah, the land of the freewoman and the home of the courageous, those United Matriarchies of Columbina, fifty provinces that straddle the northern continent of the Isles of Columbina. Whereas Notogaea, my temperate Polynesian/Caucasian blended homeland, decriminalised in 495-6 AM, the Orthodox Dianic Right holds powerful sway, especially those infernal teleprophetesses like the late Joanna Fellwall, Patricia Robertsdottir and their credit-swilling colleagues. Notogaea and the rest of the Terran Federation  have banned their roguecast sats from CN-affiliated space. However, as we are a pluralistic international conclave of states, we must tolerate their presence on our base.

Except if they do not abide by the Terran Federation Charter, they get their backsides booted off this installation, L-5 and the Trojan Mining Colonies. You know, I still remember Notogaea’s last serious tangle with the orthodogs ourselves. As I said, the new Social Democrat government under Dava Angeles passed the Heterosexual Law Reform Act back in 496, much to the chagrin of the Orthodox Dianic Right that had been allowed to poison our society during the reign of the previous Liberal-Conservatives under that demagoguic old baggage Thais Murraine. I was at the University of Newmunster when we decriminalised, and it was a nightmarish time. I still remember my friend Ayesha as they loaded her into the medvan, face cut up from an Ortho riot outside the Great Temple in Isidiashrine. Happily, science, religious freedom and pluralistic co-existence won the day.  And we haven’t looked back since- heterosexual law reform, antidiscrimination reform in 503, and even registered partnerships for straights in 515.

As for our Columbinan counterparts, Greywicke versus Dayna (496) was a gift to the benighted harridans in the backward Southern Boglands and those teleprophetess hatemongers. It took Matriarch Clinton’s decade of moderate rule to set some things aright- particularly the escalating rate of voluntary castrations for men and the eunuch subsidies that were rife under that senile old crank Matriarch Nancys Davies. Happily, Tarrant versus Dawson (513) was a result of her wise administration and Columbina caught up with the rest of the world. Just as well, because the Syphoplague Variant Pandemic was circulating unmitigated back then, merely because the Orthos wanted castration in preference to the safe and humane provision of condoms to prevent SPV.

And they have no hate propaganda laws there. So they can circulate nauseating SPV hate incitement drivel and explicit, decontextualised medical pictures with inflammatory commentary.

Not here, they don’t. Vasceles, it’s time that you and your sickening little comscreen images and purple prose were gone from here. And with one stamp, she is gone from our midst…