What do the late lamented McGillicuddy Serious Party, the Jedi “faith”, Ceiling Cat and the Flying Spaghetti Monster have in common with one another, and what on earth do they have to do with LGBT rights?

The above are all religious and political jokes, or in the case of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, thought experiments. The Jedis don’t really believe in the Force, except as a central plot element in the Star Wars fictional hexology, of which they are devout fanboys. The McGillicuddies stopped purportedly believing in the reincarnation of Bonnie Prince Geoffie in 2000, when they wound up.

As for the Flying Spaghetti Monster, this amorphous (and presumably) agendered airbourne pasta blob emerged to combat incursions of fundamentalist anti-evolutionist “intelligent design” malignancy in Kansas, and has stayed on to provide comic relief and libertarian hedonist amusement to those who use the friendly conglomeration of foodstuffs to take the Archangel Michael out of fundamentalist Christian apologetics and philosophical arguments.  According to the “Eight I’d Rather You Really Didn’ts”, lesbian and gay sex is okay, but guys should be careful out there and use condoms, although you can take pictures if you like.

As for Ceiling Cat, this rooftop feline emerged from the Lolcat craze several years ago, and consists of a mog, poking her or his head out of a stray ajar roof tile in the ceiling and looking down inscrutably on you. Judging from my own cat’s sense of  ‘morality’ and ‘ethics’ (hah!), I suspect that if cats do entertain concepts of a deity of their own, it is a large libertarian deist mog in philosophy, and once it caused their evolution, it let them go their own moggy way, particularly insofar as eating and sleeping are concerned. Or, in the case of Lolkittens, look extremely cute while strange captions are written underneath one. Presumably, Ceiling Cat doesn’t lay down homophobic dictums. I have the odd feeling that my own cat, Nut, may feel that Ceiling Cat is a fellow queen, and she created toms as an unpleasant afterthought. However, kittens are okay, as long as one’s own sleek waistline isn’t spoiled by one.

Presumably then, the Flying Spaghetti Monster and Ceiling Cat are blase about the existence of LGBT rights, but probably approve anyway. I think the most probable response I’d get from the spokespeople of the two pseudo-deities in question would be that given that male homosexuality and lesbianism probably originate from either genetic origins, or early hardwired variant infantile psychological development, then there’s no sense in being a ‘phobe, and besides, childless lesbians and gay men are ideal cat slaves.

 Now if you’ll excuse me, the local avatar of Ceiling Cat is currently eyeing the meatballs within the current immobile incarnation of the Flying Spaghetti Monster with desire for syncretism (within her stomach)…