The tragic death of Dr Matt Wildbore last week as well as the imminent publication of Dr Chris Brickell’s new book “Mates and Lovers” made me think of a few things.
One thought that I keep returning to is the way our history, individual and collective, is so fragile.
For many younger men in Auckland, Matt Wildbore […]

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A good friend, who at 44 is a couple of years younger than me, had a heart attack the other week (henceforth known as HAM -Heart Attack Man). Given that he smokes like a chimney, and in his drinking makes me look (at times) like a Salvation Army officer, perhaps it’s not surprising. Worrying, as […]

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Here’s a question for you: Do all immigrants to New Zealand, or any country, share the same issues? I mean, do a multi-millionaire French immigrant and his American wife settling in Marlborough and running a vineyard have that much in common with an IT peon from Shanghai in Wellington? How much does either one share […]

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When I started fucking around in my teens, it was all about fun. Sex and fun. Fun and sex. I remember when I was about 18 (1979) , being told by a guy at a Gay Liberation at Auckland Uni that as no one could pregnant or hurt, I should go out and […]

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A message from a guy I don’t recognise on nzdating - “So, do you still paint your fingernails black?” How long ago was that? 1981? Did I ever paint them black?Maybe in my late-70s wannabe punk days.  I remember whore red, sometimes with turquoise glitter laid over the top when the varnish was still wet (cosmetics […]

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So I see the idea of “Negotiated Safety” (NS) has been re-appearing, both here on the message boards and in the rag. Actually, that’s unfair, Mark Farnworth in express actually wrote a fairly good, if historically uninformed piece on the topic. And at first glance it is easy to see why people go “Why doesn’t […]

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I like bars. But, you see, I do like a drink and chat. And even with their drawbacks, bars are one of our main social spaces as homos. There are guys I know from bars and only from bars. We never or very rarely socialise outside them. Yet we know each other, or we know about each other.

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I don’t think about why I am  gay so much these days, unless I have to. When I was an angst-ridden teenager, it occupied my mind considerably.
Why was it that I had no sexual  interest in girls, like the other boys did, I wondered? Why did I enjoy showers so much, all of us standing […]

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I’ve been thinking about cock a lot. Well Duh! I am a homo after all. And I’ve seen a lot of cock in my life. OK, more than just seen.
I mean, of course I like arses, legs, arms, chests, stomachs, armpits, faces, etc, but really, if a guy doesn’t have a dick, well, as they […]

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A friend just rang and offered me a free ticket to tonight’s HERO Party, and I said “Hmm, well, I don’t think I really want to go. It’ll just be another Salvation”
“Me too” he said, “I can’t be bothered, that’s why I’m getting rid of the ticket”
What happened? Why don’t I care about the HERO […]

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