1: ‘I Am Furious’

I am furious but I am also trapped here in the car with him as we begin the climb up the Bridge from Curran Street. He is driving. It is a summer afternoon. I am wearing sunglasses. I will not look at him now. I refuse. It is the only act […]

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In the On-Off, Top-Bottom world of the sometimes too-linear gay male psyche, I have always been rather interested in the somewhat anomalous concept of the ‘Power-Bottom’.
But then a number of encounters over the years with Power-Bottoms in positions of influence in our society gradually narrowed my curiosity into suspicion and then, ultimately, hardened it into […]

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My job has been hard of late and so I have been doing serious aromatherapy - at the luxury end of the market.
I have found it quite fascinating how over the last ten years my sense of smell has become important to me. I mean I always knew that I was sensitive to fragrances and […]

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Andy Warhol’s 1964 movie Empire consists of one stationary shot of the Empire State Building taken from the forty-fourth floor of the Time-Life Building. The shot was filmed from 8:06 p.m. to 2:42 a.m. on July 25-26, 1964. The passage from daylight to darkness becomes the film’s narrative, while the protagonist is the iconic building […]

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Dear Jim Anderton,
I once had a dream of New Zealand as the Amsterdam of the South Seas, a place where tourists could come and smoke marijuana in cafes with a Polynesian ambience, experience mild psychedelics while watching sunsets over West Coast beaches, get ramped up on stimulants for all-night parties, and experience meaningful encounters […]

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Saki
At 10:00am, I convinced my partner to go to Hard-To-Find Books in Onehunga because I didn’t have anything new to read. The day was bright and clear. As we were driving he was talking but I didn’t listen to him much. “I do not know why I bother talking to you,” he said, changing down […]

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In 1962, the police in the American city of Mansfield, Ohio set up a survelliance operation in a men’s restroom located below a city street. Installing a camera behind a restroom mirror, the police filmed the sexual activities of the men who visited the facility.

The resulting series of 16mm films were used in court to […]

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The sound of summer is everything from a marketing wet dream for the music industry to something that is personally important for each of us. In this Music Age our lives sometimes seem to be nothing more than compilation albums, from birth to death. There are tracks that say ‘childhood’, ‘first love’, ‘drugs’, friends’, ‘dance’, […]

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Sud
Peeling off the kilometers down the Nationale Sept. He is playing Georges Delerue’s themes from the movie Le Mépris on the Renault’s CD player because I asked him to but he is not speaking to me. He is moody. I smoke a Marlboro Lite. The long black liquid reach of the road sizzles in the […]

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I’ve just moved house.
And packing was a complete revelation of what I’m inclined to think of as My Gay Life – years of it.
I couldn’t believe how many condoms with HIV/AIDS messages on them I’d managed to get given or pick up over the years – and not use. I now know what a lubricant […]

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