While they watched the coverage of California’s first same-sex weddings on Australian television, my parents noticed two elderly women in particular. They watched, fascinated, as the commentator briefly described the lives of the remarkable Del Martin (87) and Phyllis Lyon (83), who had been together since 1953.

This struck a chord with both of them, as they got married in 1956, much to the displeasure of my racist ratbag paternal grandmother, who warned “all your children will be black.” Sadly, that wasn’t to the case, but Mum was particularly moved when she realised Phyllis and Del had been together all that time, but were unable to take advantage of the spousal status and benefits she and my dad take for granted, as married pensioners.  They realised that yes, there were lesbians and gay men their own age out there, not just folks my own age and younger.

Del and Phyllis are revered elders within the US lesbian community and elsewhere. In 1955, they founded the Daughters of Bilitis, one of the first lesbian rights organisations  in the United States, and The Ladder, its newsletter, followed a year later. During the pre-Stonewall fifties and sixties, it had branches in Chicago, New York, San Diego, New Orleans, Los Angeles, Detroit, Denver, Cleveland and Philadelphia. As well as DOB, they have also been long time activists within the US National Organisation for Women, that country’s largest feminist organisation, and the (LGBT) Alice B. Toklas Democratic Club (named after Gertrude Stein’s life partner). They didn’t slow down in their sixties either, joining Old Lesbians Organising for Change in 1989, and have also worked to combat violence against women.

They may have been the first couple to tie the knot in San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom’s offices, and rightly so, but US lesbian comedian Robin Tyler and her partner Jenni Olson did it in style. It was televised on three television networks as they picked up their marriage license from Beverly Hills City Hall, and, as Robin is Jewish, had a rabbi officiate at their marriage. I’m not sure whether he was from a local LGBT synagogue or a Reconstructionist or Reform rabbi, but anyway, the cake had two brides atop it, and an array of edible rainbow roses.  There was a scattering of the usual Christian Right sourpusses, but now that same-sex couples have the opportunity to marry, it is predicted a sizable proportion of its estimated 80,000 will stampede toward registry offices and any sympathetic ministers of inclusive inclination shortly afterward.

Meanwhile, other opinion polls are starting to appear suggesting that Californians may be coming to their senses about the human rights dimension of this issue, as one showed a dramatic swing toward public approval of same-sex marriages.

Meanwhile, as reported in the New Zealand Herald, New Zealand-born former gay Anglican Reverend David Lord has relinquished his ordained status after he wed British hospital chaplain Peter Cowell in recognition of their earlier civil partnership, at London’s stately old Saint Bartholemew the Great’s Church, and the officiating minister, Reverend Martin Dudley, was unrepentant about performing the ceremony. While New Zealand Anglicans have said that they can’t officiate at same-sex religious ceremonies, though, Archdeacon Hone Kaa, a staunch defender of LGBT/takatapui, whakawahine and tangata ira tane rights, said there was no barrier to ordination of LGBT Anglican candidates within New Zealand Anglicanism.

(One liberal Anglican vicar friend emailed me, said she admired Martin Dudley’s guts, and would gladly do the honours herself at some point).

And so the wedding bells continue to ring out, across California…

Recommended:

Martin Dudley: “Why I Blessed Gay Clergymen’s Relationship” New Statesman: 17.06.08: http://www.newstatesman.com

Marisa Lagos: “Newsom Marries Activist Couple” SFGate: 16.06.08: http://www.sfgate.com

Rajesh Mirchandani: “California Ushers in Same-Sex Weddings” BBC News: 16.06.08: http://news.bbc.co.uk

Marcia Gallo: Different Daughters: A History of the Daughters of Bilitis and Birth of the Lesbian Rights Movement: New York: Carroll and Graf: 2006.

Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon: Lesbian/Woman: San Francisco: Glide: 1972.