Purple Teletubby Tinky Winky has been finally cleared of Being Gay. This morning, Polish Children’s Ombudsman Ewa Sowinska resigned from her position, after launching a highly unoriginal attack on the handbag carrying, befrocked metro-tubby:
“Look, how could I be gay? It’s not as if we have any physiological markers of gender in the first place,” commented the big purple one, who was earlier seen to do ballerina impersonations when the late Reverend Jerry Falwell, another notorious detractor of the Teletubby in question, was reported dead:
“Swan Lake? Yes, we do moonlight. How would you get by on what they pay you on kiddies programming, even given residuals from repeats.”
Tinky Winky hoped this would bring an end to all the speculation about the sexuality of the purple Teletubby: “I mean, look, do the Boobahs ever get this? No. What about In the Night Garden? No. It’s just us, for some reason.” He declined further comment, heading back into the Tubbie House for a well-deserved and nourishing meal of Tubbie Custard and Tubbie Toast.
Earlier Pieces of Anti-Teletubbetry:
National Liberty Journal (February 1999):
Tinky Winky Comes Out of the Closet!
http://www.liberty.edu/chancellor/nlj/ feb99/politics2.htm
Adam Easton: “Poland Targets Gay Teletubbies” :BBC News: 28.05.07:
1 response so far ↓
1 Craig // May 26, 2008 at 12:05 pm
As I note in a later blog, though, there *is* now a new gay children’s character scandal, this time involving Ooo, outed as a gay Toombliboo in “In the Night Garden”
Craig
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