During Summer, there is usually some occassional debate about whether or not we should relax our public nudity laws. So, how little is too little?The issue surfaced briefly over the scanty “mankini” male thong worn by Borat, the loveable fake Kazakhstani news reporter and emulated by some male fans of the Rugby Sevens in Wellington, to the considerable displeasure of the event organisers, who warned that given the flimsiness of their attire, it’d be relatively easy for it to collapse, and for the gentlemen in question to let it all hang out, as it were.

More seriously, heterosexual male flashers and exhibitionists have been making a nuisance of themselves at Auckland’s Ladys Bay, long a nude beach specifically for women- much as Gentlemen’s Bay has been for men. Unfortunately, some men don’t take the gender designations to heart, and pester women who want an all-over tan. Yeesh…straight boys…

Public nudity is an offence under Sections 125 and 126 of the Crimes Act, as well as relevant clauses of the Summary Offenses Act. Certainly, there are reasons for this- flashing is unwanted sexual gratification directed at unwilling young women and children, while streaking can be a nuisance at sporting events (although one may enjoy the display for other reasons,,,). However, there does seem to be a defence of ‘good reason’- which tends to be political protest and artistic or dramatic performance.

There are a cluster of nude beaches around Northland and Auckland, with another two near Paraparaumu on the Kapiti Coast, and Wellington, while the South Island only has one- in Nelson. Otherwise, make sure you’re in a secluded area if you want to let it all hang out.

Of course, private nudity is not an offence. It’s no-one else’s concern if you strip off at home, in a sauna, at a private sex party or orgy, at a nudist camp, or on isolated private beachfront land.

Should we reform public nudity regulations? It would be limited predominantly to nude beaches, which could well be walled off and adequately signposted for those who do not want to display one’s endowments in such a space. However, there’s no pressure for public nudity law reform, apart from the odd suggestion by larrikin elements like Marc Ellis, so we may have to wait.

List of New Zealand Nude Beaches:

Breaker Bay Nude Beach

Little Palm Beach (nudist)

Mapua Leisure Park Nude Beach

Opoutere Nude Beach

Orpheus Bay Nude Beach

Papamoa Nude Beach

Pekapeka Nudist Beach

Pohutukawa Nude Beach

Rarawa Nudist Beach

Tapotupotu Nude Beach

Uretiti Nude Beach

Waitata Nudist Beach

Woodend Nudist Beach