There’s a an episode of The Simpsons when a Gay Pride parade goes by and the marchers chant “We’re here, we’re queer! Get used to it!” and Lisa shouts back “We are used to it! You do this every year!”
The entire “Pride” concept is simply dated - it’s too last century, too 80s, too pre […]

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So we have a new government. Democracy in action, messy, imperfect, but it still beats all the alternatives (except for me being Dictator of the World!).
We now have openly gay and lesbian MPs all across the Parliament, from the Greens to National. Not quite every party, but all the biggest ones. Even our Attorney-General, a […]

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We call them, only half-jokingly, our “fur children” . Dogs, cats, whatever pet we have, they enrich our lives.
When I was recuperating from being at death’s door in the mid 90s, one of my brothers bought a puppy, much to his wife’s horror, with 2 kids under 5 at the time, so I ended up […]

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It’s my birthday next Monday. 47. Amazing. When I was 27 and in London and newly HIV+ I was told I had about 2 years left to live. And then when I was 35 or so, back here in Auckland, I was told I had a year to live.
Either the Drs got it wrong, or you are reading […]

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There used to be a fashion in the 17th century to write manuals of advice for young men. Often they were framed as letters from a father to his son. I was wondering what sort of advice I’d give today to a young man coming out into the glamorous glittering world of gay Auckland.
Because, of […]

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There’s a joke that for gay men, having sex is like shaking hands. It’s just what we do, you know, it’s how we  say hi to a stranger. And there’s an element of truth to it, after all,  as gay men we are defined to some extent by what we do with each other with […]

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You are of course reading this online. Which is where I, and many of us, spend an increasing amount of our time now. In fact, I spend way too much time here. Apart from reading my favourite blogs, overseas newspapers, local ones, & checking youtube, there’s Facebook to update and play on, (stop buying […]

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Well, it happened again. Met a guy online, chatted a bit, figured out that the filthy, perverted, friendly things we enjoyed would complement each other’s need for perversion and filth nicely. Agreed to safe sex, naturally. Met up in a neutral space so we could each back out with dignity if the reality didn’t quite match up to what life online […]

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They’re having an election this year, in case you hadn’t noticed. God what a dismal set of options we have before us. As a gay man, there seems to be an expectation that my vote will automatically go to Labour. Indeed, I’ve even been told that I have a duty to vote Labour because they’ve […]

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I was talking a bit about types of men we find sexy with a friend the other day. I don’t know if I have one anymore.  
When I was younger I used to have a type, or types, of men that I found attractive. I am old enough to remember being young with men who had […]

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